2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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