I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
