I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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