the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
