Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Betty ford says i'm here all night
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
