hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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