is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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