when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
