Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
