after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
