how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
