I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
