i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
