In the future we'll all be gay
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
