I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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