This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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