i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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