Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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