dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
