Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
