we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
