But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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