How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
