Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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