sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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