I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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