I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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