Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
