when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
time to smoke my breakfast
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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