Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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