ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize