is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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