Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize