I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she peed on how many people?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just want nice things and good sex
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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