Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
