New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
