Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
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how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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