what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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