all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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