I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
