You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Randomize
