omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
