That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
