it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
