We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
