Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
