Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
