Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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