is your mom at the bar?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
