She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
