sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
