Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I deserve this hangover.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
