I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
