Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
