Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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