D3 body, D1 cock
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
