she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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